The Raw, the Messy, and the Hurt.
It has been a long week. I am not even sure where to start. So much to say, but sometimes sharing the Raw, the Messy, and the Hurt starts to feel very un-motivational. This blog was meant to help someone else caught in the storms that sometimes we can find ourselves in. I have been asked several times this week why I hadn't shared anything. I didn't expect that I had much of a committed audience, but I guess I do. So here we go..... the start of a new week.
Today during small groups at church, the topic is Luke 7:18-35. In these passages, the praise of John the Baptist and an unresponsive generation. Boy, that is a loaded topic! During small groups, we discussed some questions that Stephanie gave us.. these were some tough questions. The brought about the Raw... some seem to think that John the Baptist was doubting or confused when he sent his disciples to ask Jesus if he was the One to come. Assuming this might have been the case, let's consider ourselves in this setting... so the question was:
"Have you ever doubted or been confused with Jesus"?
I would love to say, "NO, I've never doubted God," but that would make me a liar. I think within the past few months, I have been so confused with Jesus and the circumstances in our life. I have no idea what one day to the next holds. I have woke up some mornings wondering if my lifeline is short, so GOD is just letting me spend time with the ones I love before I die. I have woke up another morning staring at the ceiling thinking, " did I really work so hard, only to fall short"? Then there is the morning I wake up feeling His Grace beaming through the windows and certain Peace from the Holy Spirit. I am sure you are reading this thinking, this girl has lost her mind, trust me I wonder this 1000x's a day. I am so confused about what he is working on that doubt is sometimes the person I sleep with at night. But if we reflect on a piece of script, we can see that God is with us even in the moments we don't understand. Psalms 27:1-2 '" The Lord is my light and salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom should I fear? Fear and doubt are like the two friends who are constantly together, always trying to stir the pot. Next, I woke up every 3 hours last week at night. DJ was gone volunteering with the Disaster Relief Group in Morgan City, LA. And let me tell you Satan, had me doubting everything from "who I am to What choice I have made thus far in my career." So moving forward to the n
"What Typically causes you to doubt Jesus? How does knowing Scripture help us to overcome doubt and confusion?"
Well, I typically doubt Jesus when I allow my past to foreshadow the future. I let my experience guide my decision-making or thought process on what could come. But when I do that, I am allowing Satan to make me doubt God and his marvelous plans. We can plan our work, but we also need to allow God to work the plan. We know scripture, we know the algorithm to defined our faith from doubt creeping in Jeremiah 29:11 " for I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you but to give you hope and a future." When I keep scripture in my pocket, it gives me hope over confusion.
What do you do with your many questions about Jesus, His Word, His Plans, His way, especially if He is not lining up with your own understanding or plans? How do you cope? Do your remain faithful and steadfast? Why?
I have many questions about Jesus, his word, and his plans, but I also know that is the beauty of Him. Sometimes our plans don't line up with HIS, but that is where we have to trust and obey in seasons of hard and complicated times. Someone might wonder I have been waiting for Mr. Right, and God keeps passing me up, well my sweet friend, God has him, and it is lonely that is knocking on your door, but keep trusting and pray for Mr. Right, and one day soon he will be knocking at your door with Jesus in his heart. For me, My battle is when is life going to quit being a rollercoaster of hurt. We have lost a lot, but the one thing we can never lose is Jesus. So, I guess I must cope with it by believing in his word and never praying for direction. The Holy Spirit brings peace and comfort. Trembling from the hurt and praying for the presence of the Holy Spirit to bring direction in the Messy.
Lastly, Are you pointing others to Jesus? Are you giving other evidence of Who Jesus truly is? Are you concerned with whether or not you are telling others who Jesus is and to go and follow him?
It was at this very minute Amanda looked at me and smiled her sweet smile. Reanne said, "Talisha, you are good at talking." I became Raw with the messy and the hurt. I said, " after a lot of therapy, I have realized that by communicating my mess, someone else is going through the same thing, so maybe it will help them. Reanne is a teacher, Preschool at that. She is showing Jesus and compassion every day to little minds in the world. Amanda is my bible study buddy, and she is in the waiting, but she is an excellent single mom. She shows her son what waiting for the right one looks like and disciples him every day to be closer to Jesus. My prayer is that this blog leads people to open up a bible and see Jesus in the hard, the good, and the difficult. I find it easy to share my mess on this blog because I can't see your expression as your reading it. Now you may feel the need to leave a comment about this, and it may not be very nice, but I promise your response will be a Bible verse. God is calling us to walk out of the dark and share the light with the world. After a long week, Amanda spoke up and encouraged me to make this post about our table discussion, and of course, I did. I didn't want to, but I believe this is the only way to pour out my heart to you and tell you how Jesus gets me through each day.
So here is to a new week of who knows what? Let me leave you with this...
"I am certian that I will see the LORD's goodness in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD, be strong and courageous. Wait for the LORD." Psalms 27:13-14