The Quest
I am wearing my 3rd spare pair of glasses as I type this, so if there are many errors, blame it on my glasses... I know God laid this on my heart to share this evening. In March 2021, I started the bible study Trustworthy by Lysa Terkeurst with seven of my best friends. This was no coincidence. I know God purposefully positioned us in that study. We were all in a time of trust that God was going to use our sufferings and make something beautiful. As we each took steps to lean into God and see how trustworthy he really is. Psalms 112: 7 They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them. This is where our quest began. Eight weeks later, Amanda and I started the bible Study Elijah and let me tell you, and God was taking all seven of us girls to the Cherith. So God fed each of us daily with his word and promises. Shiann was getting ready to have Noah, Amanda was struggling with heartache, Necia received devasting news about an immediate family member, Breanna was working silently through some hard stuff. I never believed God could equip you with the right people until I lost my job in Feb. 2020. That same month, I began to see what Framily (friends who are your family) was. So as each of us leaned on each other, we grew in faith. When two or more are gathered together, God is there. In the Bible study Elijah, God took Elijah from a familiar setting to the unknown, he learned how to depend on God entirely. It was during that study, my family's life would begin to change, and at that moment, life became very scary.
In April 2021, I took a job that I was very skeptical about but knew I needed to; on Memorial day 2021, we decided to list our dream home because DJ had got the news, he could potentially lose his job, well three days later Dj lost his job. Four days later, God sold the house. Amanda and I were well into Elijah, and it was week four, day 4, the title of the study that day, "YOU FIRST." The script was " A person's pride will humble him, but a humble spirit will gain him honor"-Proverbs 29:23. I can say by this point my pride was taking a fall, and boy did it hurt this lady. We closed on our dream home and said our final farewells to Walnut Glenn Estates on July 16, 2021. That day was the day we had no home to go to, and my heart began to realize, God was leading us to a new something. When we finished Elijah, I knew God had something bigger in-store, but I wasn't sure what.
August 2021, we got to move into the first home we owned, and let me tell you, that was the best day ever. I didn't care if I had to sleep on the floor. Finally, we had a "home to go to." Amanda and I went to lunch and decided we needed to have discernment in our life, and we wanted to hear God. So we started Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer. In this same study, on Sept. 2, 2021, I was let go from my position, and God began to show me what the brook looked like in real-time. Both Dj and I were unemployed, and we had no idea what we were going to do. Amanda, during this time, decided it was time to send a letter and let God do this rest, and I pretty much resided to the fact God was in control, but who knows.
Week 2 and Day 3 were titled " check and balance," it was that week. If I remember correctly, our checks bounced, and I had a meltdown, but God knew it would happen. As we continued with Discerning the Voice of God, I started hearing him tell me, "my grace is sufficient, come to me and bring your heavy burden, and I will give you rest." It is hard to rest when your heart and dreams are shattered on the floor, but I have learned that is where "hope returns." Week six came alive on day 4, "A Return to Obedience"... Obedience is challenging in a time of despair, but that is where you learn to discern his voice. I could not have dreamed of what God had coming for us. Psalms32:3-4, "When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was upon me, my vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer." David experienced relief once he turned back to Obedience with the Lord. It is so hard to be obedient and steadfast in the word during trials, but that is when we grow closest to him. God doesn't give us mountain tops every day because no beauty or growth can come from it. Instead, he provides us with valleys to gain endurance and determination. What can man achieve if God gave him the world?
October 2021 is when hope has returned with Faith over fear. The Quest by Beth Moore is now in the works, and I can tell you that Amanda and I are on this quest together. God has opened up an opportunity for my family. As I start my new job, we will be moving to Bentonville, AR, over the next couple of months. Dj is still waiting on God to show him his new job, but we know God is working out the details. Amanda is waiting on the Lord to lead her to her future. Necia is fervently praying for a miracle because it is possible. Shiann loves her daughter Noah, and Breanne is stronger and better, taking life day to day. We all have trials, but that is where Framily comes and opens their arms to hold each other up.
As Thanksgiving is approaching, I find myself in a mindset of thankfulness of the fall of my pride, thankfully for the last 18 months of hard, thankful for the blessing of friendship, and most grateful for a God Who Stays. Without all the hard there would be no reason to be grateful for the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Instead, we must lean into the quest God puts on to learn that nothing comes easy, but with Faith, anything is possible. So as I close the most lengthy blog to date, I read these words on week one, day 4 of the quest, and this is what triggered my mind to share this message with you tonight.
No, faith is not easy to come by as fear, but it is colossally easier to live with. What FAITH costs you in tenacity, fear up-charges you in misery.